My Angel, My Heart, & Our Journey

Many are of the opinion that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I couldn't agree more. Life is a never ending journey of endless discoveries, painful entanglements, and amazing breakthroughs. Embracing these particles could not be done more beautifully if not in love. A God above, a single prayer, on a cold, thoughtless night when the thought of giving up on everything just plagued my helpless mind countless times over. Love was overrated then, a lasting bond between man and woman was just a mere farce, which could not coexist with reality. He was quick to correct me. His hand was swift, and his movement coincided with our prayers collected in heaven. My heart had been broken in 6 places before, and God's love was sufficient to mend those cracks. Like lightning from heaven, an angel fell into my arms. An angel, so beautiful, so graceful, so lovely, and so delicate. This angel was the answer to my prayers and tears that no man has seen, for men would not be allowed to drip. At 7, I discovered the meaning of love. Love, created by God, the greatest emotion of all, the axis on which the earth rotates; entered in a flash of amazing velocity, and penetrated the darkest corners of my unswept, uncleaned soul. My journey had begun. Responsibility, loyalty, and a lifelong commitment dawned upon me. These elements were not new to me, but they now have a renewed purpose in my life, and would take the main stage in every aspect. God brought Melodie to me in the most amazing way, almost divine, almost supernatural. It was an encounter of a lifetime, a meeting I would treasure to my deathbed. A friend once asked me, how would I know when I find the right one. My reply was simply that it would feel right. My answer was ambiguous, out of a lack of knowledge and for the sake of a reply. But truly enough, I have never felt more right in my life. Everything of her fitted me like a glove. 2nd February 2008 is a date I will remember, cherish and treasure. For once, and for a very long time to come, God has given me His true vision. And all I have to do is realize it, and put it into existence.
14th February, 3 weeks after our divine amalgamation, we were blessed with a magical valentine's day. It was my very first, as was hers. God had saved us the best. We had a wonderful evening chatting, enjoying a movie together, as well as downing a satisfying portion of Italian cuisine. Oh, and not to forget the lovely gifts. Melodie, you are truly the melody of my soul, the song of my heart and the angel of my life. I can never thank God enough for you, and only He can preserve this to the end. You mean everything to me, and this is a testimony of our journey - one that begins now, and ends when He has fulfilled his destiny in us, and when His plans and purposes for us are accomplished. You opened the doors of my heart to exhibit love, and you are a living testimony of a prayer answered. Amen.

Keeper of Love

If love could be immortalized
Tonight the stars would be my witnesses
If life was but a happy song
I'd give it all for me to sing to you

But I pray with all my heart today that miracles are true
Right then you walked into my life
And suddenly I felt this way and I could

Love you more than yesterday
I love you more each day
When I hold you in my arms
I've got everything I'll ever need
Baby you're my keeper of love

It really has been quite awhile
That I have been so sure of something new
I never thought this day would come
My journey has begun, I've found someone

And in all my life the one thing that means so much to me
Is to join the broken pieces
And to tell you now that baby I could

My heart is yours forever and ever
You're the answer to my prayers and my bowls of tears
In faith and love we'll carry on
Heaven's smiling down on me
As I'm looking at you tonight

The Authority of Passion

Twitching the pencil I grasp within my fingers, my eyes almost rolling back in total cluelessness, the deepest end and the furthest coil of my mind churned and spurned, searching for but one solution to the wonderous mystery lay hidden yet so open before me on a sheet of white paper. It was rhetorical, almost nonsensical, to prove the extent of my knowledge to say the very least. It laid out that "There is no room for a doctrine of freedom of contract in modern consumer protection legislation." Critically evaluate this statement in relation to twenty-first century consumer protection legislation. I am a student of the law, a law student, a student learning the law to pratice it in the future, a learner who anticipates law as a possible career option for the future, WHATEVER, whichever way the complicated art of speech decides to put it. The question boggled my mind for a few minutes. Ignorance was bliss to say the least. However, one could not be ignorant for too long in life-and-death situations as these, I had only been given 30 minutes to extract to the last drop of juice my mind could possibly churn out and submit my answer in full, full being defined as a minimum 2-page answer. Life pretty much treats us this way a large portion of the time. Too often we are faced with scenarios we least expect, scenarios beyond the furthest valley of our limited imagination, whereby we are expected to produce something in the shortest time possible. Some could involve, literally, life-and-death situations.
I have come to realize that life in itself has a very high occupancy rate. Get too caught up in life and it will bring you back to - yes, you guessed it right, back to the point of difference, the point where nothing means anything at all, where questions seem to pop right out but the more you look at it the more it does not make sense to you. Not everything that happens in life has answers behind it. For example, why do bad things happen to good people? A simple question, really, but one that significantly holds true beyond the drapes that so thinly disguise truth from falsity. Think about it. That one thing that has ever occured, making you wonder what you have done to deserve that occurance. Mind-busting, really, at times, but still the routinely vague existence of this thorn in the flesh makes you wonder - if all this is really meant to happen, what points us to the purpose of driving life? The authority of passion! We are blessed as passionate beings. In the face of routine, in the phase of transition, and in the eye of the storm, if humans are passionate about what they are doing, that is what makes them different. Thomas Elva Edison was passionate. He was faced with and uphill task of creating what we know today as the light bulb. He tried thousands of times to make it work, and finally he did. Billy Graham was passionate. At 83, he still travels to preach the gospel and to finish the mission for which he was appointed for. Albert Einstein was passionate. He grew from the boy his schoolteacher once condemned for possesing a lack of knowledge into one of the greatest scientist of all times.
It makes me wonder, so many times, what does life really mean to me, and I know this question is one I have asked myself over and over and over again. It seems to be dangerously routine, emphatically similar, and intriguingly repetitive. A roller coster ride would not even describe the things that have been going on in my life the past 2 weeks. But maybe, just maybe, if passion was something to be found, God help me to find it again. Because I have once underestimated its authority. And now I want it back.

Reflections Under The Rain

After a tiring yet pathetically uneventful afternoon, I was bestowed the comfort of a late evening downpour. Little did I know that the cool air that brought trickles of delight to my soul, at least while I was still under shaded area, would soon turn into a nemesis. As I disembarked from the KTM Commuter train at my station, I painfully noticed that the rain showed no signs of slowing down. My house was a 5 minute walk away from the station so I knew I had to either brave the tremendous shower or wait til it stopped. With full knowledge of the weather patterns in my drenched country, I decided to take a quick walk back once the tears of the sky slowed. True enough, the rain stopped a few minutes later and I gratefully made my way out of the station and on to the road. For some divine reason not entirely known to man, or me for that matter, it started pouring again as soon as I started making my way home. And it was literally POURING. Since I was already drenched, I decided to take a slow walk back, with the only worries in my head being the condition of my mobile phone which was in my pocket at that time, in response to rain water. Confident that my RM200+ pair of Levi's jeans was engineered of material thick enough to prevent water from seeping into the pockets, I slowly trudged back home. For one thing, I realised that walking home under the rain vanquishes the need for me to bathe when I reach home, thus saving time and water. All I have to do is dry myself with a towel and voila! I'm all fresh again. Clean.. erm.. questionable. Secondly, walking with a pair of dirty shoes under a heavy downpour means that I do not need to clean it when I get back. All I had to do was just walk slowly and let nature do its job on the protectors of my feet. Thirdly, walking under the rain tells me just how lucky I am to be the one the sky chose to urinate on (not many people get to be the chosen one everyday).
On to a more serious note, my trudge home today allowed me to reflect on the things that have been going on in my life since 2008 started, part of which are baggages carried forward from 2007. Images of the past flashed back and forth and danced in my mind like a troupe of dancers. The things I had done wrong, the things I had done right, the words uttered to me and the responses I channelled back, everything. For awhile, I was oblivious to the fact that the rain was soaking me to the skin. When I was jolted from my reverie by the sudden passing of a vehicle, the urge to walk faster flooded me. As I walked through the door of my home dripping, I wondered if any of the memories I had still hold any real meaning to my today. There were moments I wished to relieve, moments I wished to put out completely. If only the reflections under the rain were more than reflections. Classes are starting on Monday, and for some reason I am not looking forward to it. Hopefully the best finds me somewhere.

Lifesong

Life has been engineered to consistently hurl surprises across our path and bring the most unexpected to being. If anything at all, life is all but predictable. Positive, negative, infinite. A vast ocean of possibilities lay at our feet depending on our choice of destination. We have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year to put ourselves in the correct shoes and set off on a journey of faith that so many claim to have walked, failed and have quickly thrown in the towel, whereas few have actually embraced that part of the story that encompasses the beauty of victory that comes through perseverance and prominence. That being said, perseverance cannot be cultivated nor can prominence be impersonated. Perseverance blossoms through the undying will to succeed, kept burning by the flame of passion, the exact flame that has lit the hearts of scholars, philosophers and other professionals throughout the centuries. It is, however, not as glossy as it sounds. Pushing off to the side tracks for a bit, the simplest things in life can often push us to the limit. Smile if you will, low as it sounds, but don't you remember the class prankster whose favourite victim was your water bottle? Or how about the irritating motorist who cut off your lane and kept you sulking the entire day? If those scenarios tested our perseverance, how much more the circumstances in life; the pressures at play, at work or at school. To persevere, a positive attitude at ALL times is a must. More so if that is a 'resolution' one has vowed to keep this year. But that aside, humans are by nature impatient creatures. We've all come face to face with life's ironies. It is humourous, really, but few will actually be able to keep a cool head in these situations; often bursting into guffaws of laughter afterwards upon recalling actually how remarkably funny it was. One man, noting the regularity (and certainty) of these quirks, decided to make a list. The result? The famous "Murphy's Laws". Among some of Murphy's most interesting observations (and some that are really capable of taking the steam out of our heads): If anything CAN go wrong it WILL. "Broken" gadgets will operate perfectly in the presence of a repairman. Saying "Watch this!" guarantees that the behaviour you want others to witness will not happen. A poorly thrown Frisbee will always come to rest under the exact centre of a parked car. The other line always moves faster. You will always be forced to wait when you do not have the time to wait. We nod and smile at those laws because we've lived them and they're amazingly true to life. But these aren't the scenarios whereby the true story of life will be told. How about some other laws of life? Perhaps not as humorous, but just as true - and much more life changing. Consider the people around you. Start thinking of their welfare in your decisions. Giving is better than receiving. You will always reap what you sow. If you sow love, you will reap love. If you sow hatred, hatred is therefore what you will reap. Perhaps we need to be more outward looking instead of being so internally-oriented. Learn to do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Perhaps, just perhaps, if half of society actually followed these principles on top of the hidden good that is already embedded in the heart of humans and persevered in doing so, life would be better to live and the world would be a better place. Political struggles tell the story of selfish people struggling to attain prominence in the wrong manner. No exceptions to tales of drugs abuse, substance abuse, streetfights, even real-time wars. Prominence, as mentioned earlier, cannot be impersonated. Perhaps the struggles in my life has driven me to write this, as the new year has not yet brought the changes for which I have so eagerly hoped for. But if it is anything that keeps me going and helping me to persevere, it would probably be the thought of those less fortunate than I am, to whom life is a daily struggle for survival, and those who have to fight for so much as a sack of rice. Life could only better if I learned to maintain and sustain a positive attitude at all times. People change, circumstances change. Prominence shifts from time to time. Life is an ongoing tale of ups and downs. A walk in the park? Not at all. Acceptable? Maybe. Just a few days ago I discovered painfully that a close friend of mine was not all I had seen him as. My education, and my future at that, meanwhile, is still uncertain at this point. These are among others that threaten the validity of my stand in life and question the lines on which I stand. With all hopes, dreams and aspirations cast aside, all I can do is look to heaven and say "Life may not treat me the way I always want it to be, but Lord You hold my world in the palm of Your Hands."

Enough For Everything

Through the years every step that I take
I was ever so close to making those mistakes
If I was all I've been looking for
I was so wrong
I never had the chance to know love would do it all
Or the fate of meeting an angel
My wish for life
Is that these palms would grasp some meaning, a way

If stars would shine and angels sing
Maybe love is everything
But I would find that special place in search of grace
'Til I found you my doors were shut
And then you leaned upon my heart
If life was but a song
You're enough for everything

All my life every word i have said
Every thought passing through the junction of my mind
Had never once reflected what could've been right
It became all too clear to me now
Winter's past and my vision of spring is come
My wish for life
That life is living like heaven is on earth

How I long for your hand in mine
To lead me on this path
Heart in heart we stand embracing joy again
Through the flames emerged unscathed
Would I have to turn away?
But your whisper tells me that
Your Faith is still in me

The Overrated Motivators of The Human Entity

In a world that swirls and twirls with adversities and turmoils, in an arena that swarms with predators of all sorts, ready to devour the innocent and the unknowing, and in a compound that so often deceives us with empty promises of a light at the end of a tunnel, it is drastically vital to conceive the grounds on which the rocks of humanity stand, and what drives us to move on in the face of adversaries. In the same field of question is the point whereby the human mind succumbs to stress and depression as a result of the circumstances that embalm them. What makes us vulnerable to stress? What motivates us to move on in spite of stress? On the note of a personal opinion, I fully believe that each individual has a contrasting 'breaking point'. This scenario can be likened to the physical concept of natural frequency and resonance, whereby the example of a glass pane is used. Based on my limited knowledge of physics, a glass pane ordinarily vibrates at a natural frequency pre-determined by the forces of nature. If a sound wave vibrates at the same frequency as the glass pane, resonance is said to be achieved. Therefore when the frequency of the sound wave exceeds that of the natural frequency of the glass pane, the pane will eventually break. This has been tested by sopranos with wine glasses and has proven conclusive; similarly each of us vibrates at a natural frequency. Every human can only withstand so much before the system of the human mind succumbs to one of its greatest enemies - stress.
I am well and fully sure that everyone reading this right now possesses the knowledge on the means to fight stress, how to overcome its powers and how to keep calm in the face of turmoil. What one does not know, however, is that there is an area known as 'The Overrated Motivators of The Human Entity'. I shall refer to them as Overrated Motivators, OM's for short. OM's are in reality things that motivate us so much in the beginning, but turn out to be gargantuan failures which cause us to stumble terribly later on. OM's are SO dangerous because once these snap, lowliness and distress sets in almost immediately. These little mines are even more deadly than actual circumstances that gradually lead to stress. A worker who is constantly under pressure by his superiors to consistently upgrade his level of work is actually less likely to succumb to stress in comparison to another worker who is promised a certain level of recognition or reward if his work succeeded, and is left alone along the way but in the end discovers that all he has done was not worthy of the reward at all. That promise of an outcome, or the so-called gurantee of a light at the end of the tunnel, is the overrated motivator. Once the motivator actually snaps, it wouldn't be very motivating anymore. The worker would feel useless and depressed, finding no reason to carry on in what he is doing.
Similarly in life, it is generally advisable not to establish high hopes in something which may in the end bring you down. Something which motivates you to accomplish ur tasks, something which pushes you on in the face of adversity, and something that enables you to carry on even though you fail - beware of these motivators. Do not rely solely on them, but rely on yourself and your heart. What you believe will stay firm, and most importantly, cling on to God always.
That being said, I myself testify to being a victim of an overrated motivator. I am a student at a local college which offers schorlarships at the time of entry based on secondary government assessment results. The requirements to be entitled for these scholarships were surprisingly low, but I will not disclose these requirements. I attained straight A's in that particular assesment, which enabled me to start college with an 80% tuition fee waiver, the only condition being that I have to keep an average of 65% throughout my course to keep my scholarship. Being a fairly capable student at that time, I thought to myself that 65% would not be that hard to maintain. I therefore did my part, equipped myself with whatever necessary and bravely came face to face with my first semester final exams. When the results were announced, I was shocked that my average garnered a mark below 65%. I was, of course, reasonably dissatisfied and proceeded with bombarding the education dean with serious questions about the system of education in the college. As a result of that, it was concluded that there WAS a mistake in marking and my grades were restored, thus reinstating my scholarship. With that in mind, I hoped not to repeat the same mistake in my 2nd semester, the one which I just completed. Unfortunately, things did not change as the same luck befell me. The system was that throughout the semester, there would be minor tests and assignments to assess each student before sitting for the real final exam, each of which contributed a protion of our overall grades. To be honest, I did relatively well in EVERY SINGLE assessment that was posed to me. But when the FINAL results were thrown in my face, all I wanted to do was tear my clothes in agony - my motivator had once again failed me. This all happened TODAY.
This time, I asked around and found out that I was not the only person with the same luck. I proceeded to uncover that out of 10 students, only 2 would retain their scholarships by the end of the first semester. Was it all a gimmick to attract students to the college by offering them schorlarships at such a low requirement? This scenario is still twirling inside my mind, and giving me sleepless nights, antagonizing me with probes about my future. With my nights longer than the days, the only other thing that motivates me is.. Oh well. I shall not proclaim such. It might be overrated again.

Testimonies of Time

If one were to ever question me on the importance of time management, my answer would be simply "Whatever makes you happy". It is in evitable that in a fast-paced, ever-expanding technological era where developments in every area of society have become synonymous to human lives, effective time management is the flagship of every successful individual. Time would only turn predator to those who lack the ability to manage it. The most significant testimonies of time originate from individuals who have come a long way in the arena of the job universe, and have attained all-round success in the works of their hands. Bill Gates, for instance, is known to make millions in just minutes. The idiom that time is gold is simply not enough to depict its true value at the core. Ask any successful businessman the secret of his success, ask any high achiever in the field of education the pathway to glory, and the answer will be similarly effective time management.
The irony of humans, is therefore, knowing what's good for them, is fully aware of its benefits YET fail to practice it. It is therefore not surprising that as many people are exposed to the knowledge of the importance of time management as many people simply just do not put it into practice. This is probably the same scenario as with smokers, at least 70-80% of all smokers know that what they are doing is hazardous for their health and yet constantly divulge in it. I for one, was one such victim in the area of time management until i finally developed a reasonable plan to help me manage my studies, play and other commitments. Yesterday, however, it seemed to me that time did not exist and the knowledge of punctuality and time management seemed to have been totally erased from the banks of me, and from the banks of even the people I came into contact with. I was stuck in my college the entire day due to a miscalculation in timing (this actually propelled me to talk about time in today's post), and even had to postpone my 'dinner' to that of supper at around 1am.
I shall not dive much into it, but all I can say is that us being considerate human beings (more often than not, I pray) MUST include others into our time when drawing up the schedules for the day. I must have been totally insignificant to my lecturers who made me wait hours before I collect my results and speak to them personally. As a result of the delay, I could not go home to refresh myself before heading for practice that night. Coupled with the fact that I ended the day hungry, tired and extremely, dirtily, uncomfortable, I concluded that time management was at fault, and had clocks been able to move backwards, I would gladly head back to the past to correct things. Just wait and see what I would have to say about the stories tomorrow would throw in my path.